This is what I was/am feeling due to certain events in my life. Even though this poem reflects what I am feeling at this moment, is dedicated to a friend of mine who lost her father recently in the sincere hope and wish that she will be happy once again and a prayer to him that he will watch over her wherever he is...
The poem represents me no one else but she also is in pain hence the dedication.
I wake up and the loneliness stings
filled with dread at fear's first kiss
I drown in the flood that loneliness brings
but realise that there is no one to miss
No one to share
the blood of my heart with
Nor feel sorrow or joy
as there is none to part with
My days are empty and hollow
nights just seem to follow
one image after another a copy, a shadow
of what was my life was when I truly was living
I put on a mask, a handsome one
as this pain must not be shown
the stonier the better
isn't that a mark of how much you've grown ?
apathy to fellows and indifference to friends
too long this has been, too late to make amends
evading my responsibility to the best of my talent
is all I am reduced to, hence this pathetic lament
My mind says "forget this and move ahead
what do you have to prove ?"
Some people might heed this piece of sane advice
But my heart will not let go and there is no asking twice...
the world is broken
or maybe it is me
there is no colour left
or is it just that I can't see ?
I stare in horror at a world gone wrong
I try to remember the words to MY song
that one reference, the point to begin
my sojourn here, the birth, the origin
No childhood wonder, no surprise or joy
the end of innocence, broken like an old toy
I am just numb to all the madness and violence
I stand quiet, but am screaming in silence
7 years ago
12 comments:
Well said, Sir! *Imagine a clapping, cheering and whooping sound*
In theory, you can't be lonely if you like the person you are alone with. And I maintain that there is nothing more practical than a good theory :) But sometimes there are matters that one can understand, but which are hard to implement. You express things most beautifully.
My personal favourite line, "I put on a mask, a handsome one/as this pain must not be shown." It reminds me of the 2nd of two simple points a friend told me before I left for Sweden 1) Find a win-win situation. Only then will people help strangers and 2) Everybody wants to hear good.
Do go on posting and continue expressing my mind :)
Sagar
Very well expressed Ashwin..i feel the same so many times but have never been able to express myself...thanks..
I like that line as well - "I put on a mask, a handsome one/as this pain must not be shown."
I have done that too and thanks again for speaking me out :)
Screaming in silence says it all...well expressed.
ever one in life has some or the other incidences which they think would never happen or they dont deserve it....but its life after all...deep as the ocean and unpredectible as well. to sail on the surface is the way out....its very easy to say...but difficult to act. Time heals it all...
Does time really heal it all? I don't think so. My analysis is:
Each human can only stand a certain threshold of pain. The threshold T is a function of 1) The magnitude of the pain(M) and 2) The duration of the pain(D)
T=f(M,D);
(As a first approximation, assume that M is independent of time)
So as time passes, the threshold is crossed. Once this happens, the pain sensor saturates (can't take any more pain) and eventually trips (output=0) so you don't feel the pain anymore. Ergo, you think that you have overcome it or that it has healed.
Although the effect is that of healing, I don't think that healing is the reason for that effect.
Simple evaluation : If time has really healed you, then you'll not feel any pain the next time you are in a similar situation..and you'll be in "no pain" even if you don't suppress certain feelings inside you, which one tends to do when history repeats itself. For one has learned that triggering those feelings leads to pain.
Just my thoughts...triggered by what I believe to be a cliché :)
im sure she appreciates it man.
and i dont agree with wild magic!
"If time has really healed you, then you'll not feel any pain the next time you are in a similar situation..and you'll be in "no pain" even if you don't suppress certain feelings inside you, which one tends to do when history repeats itself. For one has learned that triggering those feelings leads to pain."
clearly he has not had more than one cat....i have had several and every time one dies i feel absolutely horrible! despite getting over the previous experience.
Ashwin, man.. I did not know it was so bad. When we talked last time, it seemed like u were getting over it. I guess it was a mask.
I lost my father many years back. It surfaces at times and I cry. My tough exterior shatters. Somehow, the next early morning everything seems possible again.
Awfully beautiful..The question "forget this and move ahead,what do you have to prove?" looms in my mind ever so often and makes me "stand quiet and still scream in silence". I really didn realise until i read this that something so undefined can be put so wonderfully well into words.. Truly amazing.
Nicely written...Thanks for the dedication Ashwin.
Regards the debate about pain and time..and healing and all that.
Well...this past month has taught me..( without a mathematical expression to prove it ) that the pain will always be there...but time takes a bit of the sting off.SO what 'heals' is only the immediacy and urgency of the hurt...
Thats my two bit anyway
amazing poem dada!!i really liked it.i liked the line "i drown in flood that loneliness brings..."
just re-read this poem. had forgotten how beautiful it was, Dada. Awesome.But now, you can write some cheerful, non-brooding ones:P
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