Mirror mirror on the wall...

स्वामी समर्थांची अशी भक्ति मी पहिल्यांदा पहिली

2010-09-01T06:07:00.000-07:00

स्वामी समर्थांची अशी भक्ति मी पहिल्यांदा पहिली :

आजची सकाळ अतीशय रम्य होती. २ दीवस पावसानी झोडपून काढल्यावर पुणेकरांना आज सकाळी स्वच्छ आभाळ पहायला मिळाले. मस्त गार हवा ( ज्याला पुण्याची हवा म्हणतात ती) अणि पावसामुळे टवटवीत झालेली पटवर्धन बागेतील झाडे.

अन्हिक उरकून आलो इतक्यत सुरेश वाडकर ह्यांच अतीशय गोड " महाराज श्री स्वामी समर्थ जय जय स्वामी समर्थ" ऐकू आले. भजन उत्तमच आहे अणि अश्या सकाळी ऐकू आल्यावर फार चान वाटलं. नंतर लक्ष्यत आले की आवाज स्थिर नहीं पण हलत आहे. खली पाहतो तर हसून हसून वेडाच झालो. एक बैल गाडी, ज्यावर एक झोपडी सारखं बांधलं होतं पत्र्याचं. त्याला भगवा रंग दिला होता त्याचा वर ठलक अक्षरात " जय माता दी" असं लिहिलं होतं. आत स्वामी समर्थ अक्कलकोट ह्यांची एक तस्बीर होती. दोन speaker दोन बाजूला जोरात आक्रोश करत होते.

मी म्हणतो हे ही ठीक आहे. स्वामी भक्त आहे त्याची असेल आपली हौस, रोज सकाळी हे भजन ऐकून त्याच्या स्वामींचा स्मरण करावं . पण इथे थांबले नहि ना... तीच तर खरी गम्मत आहे :

जो इसम त्या गाडी बरोबर चालत होता त्याच्या हातात एक ताटली होती. त्या ताटली मध्ये सुद्धा फोटो होता. तो माणूस प्रत्येक बंगल्याचं फाटक वाजवत होता. म्हणजे त्याचा महाराजांचे दर्शन घ्यायलाच पाहिजे नाही तर दर ठोठावत राहणार,अश्या थाटात. बर जर कोणी दार उघडलंच की झड़प घातली म्हणुनच समजा. पहिले काही बोलायचा नाही ताटली पुढे करायचा, एक दोन लोकांनी दार उघडला आणि सरळ नाही म्हणून सांगितलं.. ( बर्यापैकी कोकणस्थ भागा मध्ये आल्यावर फार अपेक्षा असूच नये म्हणा पण असो ) पुढे साहेब सोकावले... दार उघडल्या शिवाय पुढे हलेनात. अशी आमच्या व समोरच्यांच्या दर समोर १० मिनिटे गेली. थोडा वेळ ऐकून घेतलं पण मग मला उत्सुकता हि वाटू लागली कि भाऊ आहे तरी कोण. आमच्या शेजारच्या बिल्डिंग मध्ये एक स्वामी भक्त राहतात. तिकडे खाली त्यांनी मोठ्ठी तसबीर रंगवून घेतली आहे बिल्डिंग च्या पार्किंग मध्ये भिंती वर. त्या समोर सत्संग वगेरे होतात. अगदी सज्जन लोक आहेत. तिकडे गेल्यावर रावजी सोकाव्लेच !!! तो पर्यंत मी हि खाली गेलो होतो... साहेब माझ्या कडे पाहतात व म्हणतात स्वामींना नमस्कार करा. मी केला.. अक्कलकोट स्वामींना नमस्कार करायला काय कोणाला हरकत असत नाही ( generally ). मग म्हणाला दक्षिणा द्या, मी विचारले कोणाला ? तर म्हणतो स्वामींना.. मी पुन्हा नमस्कार केला व म्हणालो दिली... तर जरा स्वारी रागावली.. "तुम्ही कोण समजता स्वतःला, स्वामींना असं नुसतं नमस्कार करून दक्षिणा दिली असं म्हणता ? त्यांचा तुमच्यावर कोप होईल. त्यांचा अपमान करू नका.. इथे दक्षिणा दिली तर तुमचं काही खरं आहे". मी म्हणालो.. " आहो स्वामी सोडून सगळाच खोटं आहे असं स्वामी स्वतः सांगून गेले.. तुम्ही कश्याला खरं खोटं करत आहात ?" तर म्हणे " तुम्हाला किंमत नाही आहे जे आहे त्याची.. जे आहे ते सर्व नष्ट होईल मग स्वामी सुद्धा काही दया दाखवणार नाहीत." मी विचार केला, स्वामींना जर माझ्यासारख्याच्या अपमानानी फरक पडत असता तर त्यांनी मला केव्हाच गाढवावरून उल्टा बसून नागडा फिरवला नस्ता का ?..

फक्त हसलो आणि परत आलो.. पण पुढे व्हा एवढं सांगून आलो.. पण शेजारी स्वामींचा फोटो पाहून स्वारी खुशीत होती ते जरा मूड गेला असावा. फारसे पुढे थांबले नाहीत..

पण हि भक्ती थोडी धोकादायक आहे. हे म्हणजे स्वामींना मन नाहीतर तुमचं सत्यानाश होईल. हे म्हणजे पोप जे सांगतो तसेच झाले " ख्रिस्ताला माना नाही तर नरकात जाल.." आरे काही काय बावळट पणा.. नरकात जाल काय.. स्वामींचा कोप होईल काय.. हा काय सेक्रेटरी आहे च्यायला ? त्यांचा ? कि ह्यांनी जाऊन सांगायचे "स्वामीजी इसको उठाव... इसने insult किया है , दक्षिणा / हफ्ता नाही दिया है .." हे म्हणजे कोणा कडे एक बैल गाडी असली कि संपला.. एक धंदा चांगलं आहे. जर काही चांगल्या कामाला पैसे हवे असतील तर तसा स्वच्चा स्पष्ट सांगावा ना.. दक्षिणा मागताना मार्केटिंग कश्याला ?

multiple driving licenses from the Pune RTO

2010-09-01T01:10:00.000-07:00

A guide to obtain multiple licenses legally from the pune RTO :

Requirements : some patience, and about 2 hours of time every 4 months or so

step 1: obtain the form for change or address/renewal/issue of duplicate (priced at rs 10)
the form has no number on it so make photocopies as many as one wants

step 2: fill the form and attach photocopies of your existing license, passport and pan card

step 3: get it ratified from the section 'C' of the pune RTO's chief officer
Note: There is NO rush in this place, if one goes between 11:30 and 1:00. the officer does not even look back to check the documents but counter signs the form

step 4: get the xerox of the license checked from a mr.mahale if your license has been issued between the decade of 2000 to 2010. He checks the license number in some register for authenticity and possible confiscation.
do not say anything about your old license, you will not be asked anything either. just smile :)
This is the important step.. don't forget the smile.. ( I know I am not at all pretty but am betting Mr.M might be gay otherwise why would my smile work ?? and I just smiled a normal everyday smile... in case you are getting weird images in your head ...)

step 5: pay Rs.300 at the counter and submit your form and get a receipt.

step 6: go to the biometrics section pose for a nice photo, smile and put your thumb print and signature on the light pad.

step 7: go back after 7 days to collect your brand new smart card license

Repeat these steps after a reasonable amount of gap ( say about 4 months) as many times as you want.

This procedure does not involve ANY thing illegal as in case of lost licenses one does NOT require an FIR to be attached to the form, only the license number. The RTO guidelines displayed in the RTO itself ask only for the license number

there is NO need for any agents or any other bs.

I discovered this when I went to change my old driving license ( a laminated strip of paper) to a smart card one with my new residential address.
I had left my license at home in my scanner where I had been taking scans and prints of the same.
I had a photocopy of the same and hence did all the above.
I still have my old license and my new one.

So if a cop catches me. I give him the old license.. thrash him on his behind. if he threatens me.. I can ask him to shove my old license up his a** and go home smiling.

NOTE: This only works if your license has not been confiscated when you apply for the replacement. they check for this eventuality. so drive safe and proper for about 1 year.. apply and get about 5 licenses and then you can say "screw you" to even the comissioner of RTO if he confiscates your license..

not a bad deal.. 1500 Rs to say show your finger to roadside RTO :D for LIFE !!!
I would say go for it..

artifical intelligence is either not artifical or not intelligent

2010-04-14T03:49:00.001-07:00

I have a problem with calling artificial intelligence artifical:
The way artifical intelligence defined today is : the field of the study and design of intelligent systems.
This is escapism at it's most blatant.
I mean come on.... you have not defined what intelligence is... other than saying if a human cannot differentiate between a computer generated response and a human response it is AI ( this is the principle of the turing test)
this is not fair... we are trying to define intelligence via human points of view.. but there is no reason in existence which says that intelligences have to be like human intelligence.
Here I assume that there is a common underlying property in all intelligent systems but I know that it is not the ability to pass a Turing test.

Consider the following possibility :
any system that is sentient will have one thing in common, knowledge of it's own existence. fair enough. this statement makes complete sense and does not require external supports.

Now along comes Mr. Godel who said two things that were shocking but amazing...
1. if a system is consistent it is not complete and
2. the axioms making up a system cannot be proven within the system.
this basically decemates any attempt to find and prove 1 set of axioms for any science including mathematics.
AI enthusiasts can apply godel's theorm by saying that any system cannot completely 'know' itself. suppose there are a set of axioms that define how intelligence works, they cannot be tested in the framework of intelligence. so this is basically saying intelligence cannot be analysed with intelligence. and if the axioms making up intellect are consistent intelligence is not a complete system. So the point rests.. if humans are intelligent, we need a non human intelligence to understand human intelligence. (not the movie or sci fi books kind of AI or alien or godlike intelligence though they are attractive prospects and sound really cool too)
similarly we would need something outside non human intelligence to understand non human intelligence.

Strange.. but true.. (I may have gone out on a limb here but any suggestions are kindly appreciated. )

So I have only question :
What if there has sponteneously arisen any form of intelligence on earth (due to the various fiddlings of human beings via the internet seems like a likely candidate since the sheer information needed would be a good seed pool for intelligence).
why should it be doing anything at all that humans can relate to for us to call it intelligent ?
it might be aware of its existence but that does not mean that it will try to protect it, or be capable of controlling others or even wishing to do so or feel animosity or friendship or feel anything at all towards itself or anyone else's self for that matter. It need not pass any test devised by anyone but still be aware of itself.
all these are human concepts nothing to do with being intelligent.
so maybe there is already intelligence on earth that is not human.... maybe it is breaking the second law of thermodynamics by created more order out of less order like we humans do all the time with our brains..
interesting concept right ?

the ( temporary) melbournian... part 1

2009-12-03T02:20:00.000-08:00

Well... I had the good fortune and the opportunity to visit the city of Melbourne for a conference. The things I saw there and the people I met there have had some impact on me. After returning home I have decided that I like Australia. I found none of the racism that people talk about.. except for some at the airports (especially in India)but all in time.. This is part 1 so let me begin at the beginning. I have had comments and complaints from people I know and regard a lot saying that my posts are just too damn long. So will try to keep this short. Though I like writing in the long style since it then becomes a personal point of view rather than a news report...
so Aussieland.. initial impressions...
I arrived on a rainy afternoon at 12 pm.. sweaty, tired from 2 long flights and really really hungry. Was told the wrong address by an Australian on the bus to the city from the airport. It turns out that the YHA Melbourne Central youth hostel and the Melbourne Central Mall are easy to confuse. But anyways.. finally made it to 562 Flinder's street. The geometry yes the geometry of the city area of Melbourne helped immensely to find the place. specially with a 11.5 kg bag on my back. Some Aussies helped.. some of them told me they could not help as they did not know where the place was.
points to remember when talking to Indians outside India that I learnt the hard way:
1. Never EVER say this to them "excuse me I need some help." most will look at you as if you are a beggar about to cheat them for money.. (especially when they re with white girls and trying to make the girls laugh ) ALWAYS tell them exactly what you want that helps it a little bit. Older Indians will help you out.. teens will.. not
2. I don't have a lot of respect for Punjabis. In India they tend to treat all other Indians like shit, but there.. if you speak to them in hindi they welcome you like a brother and do all they can. Strange and a little comforting.. (more on this later )

So found the hostel.. it turned to be better than my wildest dreams !!! I had a digital key card and all !! ( buying the wallet my fiancee suggested made a lot of sense now.. it had about 12 card slots ! :D ). So cool hostel, now freshened up.. got myself a metro card. They have trams in Melbourne which is kind of a surprise.. but amazing service and system. Of course I am not writing about how good the traffic was and how everyone ( even Indians ) follow the rules to a fault.

there are 3 things which I had not even thought about that happened in Melbourne.

1. there is sunlight till 9 pm at night.. OK long summers, maybe I had not realised that I would be so far below the tropics, so got pretty excited and clicked pictures in sunlight at night. There is no one and I mean NO one on the streets after 7pm even tho it is a glorious day/night and amazing weather. All the shops are closed at 6:30pm except the Indian/Pakistani/Shri Lankan ones of course. and all the eateries are open till about 12
2. There are beggars in Melbourne. and I am not talking impoverished and diseased black/brown people.. no.. I am talking about Germans and Australians who look extremely healthy and well fed. They were dressed almost as well as I was. ( this implies I was well dressed.. not the other way around ). They just come up to you and say " mate, could you spare some change ? " or if it is a woman " could you spare some change love ? " at first I did not know what to say !! I mean white people asking me for money ?? that is a mental image I had not even dreamt of !!!
3. Why can't Aussies have any sort of taste to their food ? I mean I finally gave up being a veggie and tasted ham/bacon/ beef and finally even ostrich/kangaroo and crocodile ( but more on that later ). everyone in aus just likes to pile on the meat.. slabs and slabs of it. have it in sandwiches.. and that is lunch !! really disturbing for a guy who eats 2 square meals a day with at least 3 varieties of food in them..
part 2 in a few days..

William Blake.. poet.. Ph.D

2009-09-21T19:18:00.000-07:00

we all know the amazing poem written by an equally amazing person called William Blake
His poem goes something like this :

To SEE the world in a grain of sand
and heaven in a wild flower
to hold infinity in the palm of my hand
and eternity in an hour

This is one of the most profound poems I have ever read. This is what he wishes to be able to see and experience. This poem does NOT end there as is popularly beleved but really goes on a long way with similar metaphors but the first 4 lines are my favourites.

But if William Blake was doing his phd in my lab.. what would he see ?
I think it would something like this

To see my future in a set of bands
and hope for an uninterrupted supply of power
To behold my CBB stained hands
and wish for good results in one hour

To hope that the admin people have done,
completed their own share of work
To wish that I don't have to run
to get away from by boss's quirk

To not add the wrong enzyme in the hour of need
but still do and have to face the fact alone
to be horrified at my guilty deed
a mistake that is hard to atone

To wish that people could understand
the importance of computation
and that not only wet work is grand
to sigh in my mounting frustration

to wish and dream of papers printed
to be acclaimed by the community
to desperately want this degree granted
to gain from here eternal immunity...

:D

Horoscopy or the road to moronic marriages and crappy catastrophies part V

2009-09-20T08:16:00.001-07:00

Ok.. we finally come to the end of this long winded discussion. I think I have successfully painted a picture of horoscopy as nothing better than a hobby. But there is something as to why people still use it. Why so many people still need to use random calculations to justify their lot in life. The answer is twofold...
1. People need to believe in something. Something that externalises the cause and effect of whatever is going on in their lives. This is especially true if someone is really suffering in life, they want to look for a reason, any reason why they are in the current state. It always helps if someone else takes the responsibility of the current situation. This is not a bad thing. Tt is a human tendency, it gives hope that one day things will change, or if I appease this god or that planet things will change. Gives them something to do, makes them believe that they are doing something change their lives.
2. People want to play safe, nobody wants to take untoward risks ( unless they are adrenaline junkies ). People believe that by doing all this.. they can empower their lives, strengthen their lives, and are therefore move to consulting astrologers etc. This is especially true when taking big decisions in life, marriage, a business venture. They think it will help them to understand any situation better and then act accordingly.
The first reason is really ok since it is human tendency to believe that something is governing their lives and that something is appeasable/controlloable. This gives them a feeling of having at least some control over their lives. All the human cultures belive in something or the other that is not human and that controls the way life is.
The second reason is also fine, again no one wants to go through life by the seat of their pants, it is good to have some tether of some belief to set one's point of view in life. But both of these stem from one and the same problem. Why can't anyone who does this accept that they are almost completely responsible for what is going on in their lives. If you are not happy in your marriage may it is time to rethink it rather than going to astrologers. If you are consistently unlucky in life.. maybe you are doing something wrong. I know this is very easy to say than to do.. but if almost all of the society thinks like this it will be an amazing place to live in. Everyone taking full responsibility of their own existence here, man that would be cool !! no need for any hookey like horoscopy because no need for any external justification of the any situation. If I am sad right now, yeah I am sad right now. I would rather try address the root of sadness in me rather than try to fix saturn or uranus and how they are looking at me right now. But this is all fine. There is only one thing that I cannot forgive....
Using astrology or horoscopy to predict doomsday or catastrophies... that really boils my blood
I watched a 'documentary' produced by the history channel called "2012: Nostradamus" or something like that. The premise of the whole 1.5 hours of drivel is that in 2012 ther world is either going to end or the end of the world is going to begin. Okm I can live with that, as long as you tell me just exactly WHY the world is going to end. Apparently on december 12 2012 the sun is going to rise in exact alingment with the centre of the galaxy as seen from the earth. Apparently this is very important. Ok.. I can live with that.. again pray tell me why is it important that the sun rising in alignemnt with the galactic centre in just parallax alignment makes it any different from any other sunrise. Granted this happens once every 65000 years or so.. but still what is the big deal. The Halley's comet comes every 76 years.. still why is that a big deal ? (Geroge W bush gets elected only once in 5 billion years, again why is this special ? or important ? ). Apparently the Mayan calender ends exactly on december 21 2012. Great !! mayans were amazing astronomers, there is no doubting that but pray tell me how do you know when their calender began ? so you can so smugly predict that it will end on dec 21 2012 ? this is absolute nonsense. OF course mayans knew about the precession of equinoxes, that is the wobbling of the earth's axis so that the pole star changes after every 26000 years. but that does not mean that anything else is going to happen. Apparently Mr.Nostradamus was an accomplished astrologer who predicted all this nonsense 400 years ago and wrote cryptic poems. He ( or his son ) made 16 watercolour drawings to depict all of this. Now one Mr. Jim Wiener proudly says that these drawings depict the end of the world when the sun and the galactic centre align. I mean honestly if you see the drawing from which Mr.Weiner draws his conclusion you will say I want whatever drug this guy is on... It is a drawing of the upper half of a naked man with a bow and arrow ( presumably sagittarius) shooting and arrow at the drawing of an upper half of a naked woman. Mr.Weiner suggests that to him the woman represents the centre of the galaxy as it is going to be aligned with the arrow of sagitarius. All I see is one naked guy and his naked girlfriend doing kinky stuff.. How the hell does he relate that to the galaxy ? Another one is a sword around which a ribbon is wrapped. The ribbon is supposed to be the galaxy. He says it means the sun is going to rise in alignment with the center of the galaxy and that the Milky way looks S shaped from earth. Mr.Weiner please go outside and look to the skies. The galaxy looks NOTHING like an S. Maybe a horizontal I or the bottom part of L. But S ? man this guy is on a roll...
Now let us again consider why would the sun rising with galactic centre cause on whit of a difference on the earth. Again gravity or electromagnetism are the only two avenues available for this interaction to have any effect. The centre of the galaxy is ALWAYS on any one side of the earth since it is a point. So whatever is effect on earth.. it is going to be unidirectional and we have been perfectly safe till now. So who knows why the sun aligning with a MASSIVE amount of matter in the sky would make a difference. It is like saying an elephant is trying to break down a door and not succeeding and an electron comes along to help it and suddenly the door breaks !!
Apparently every culture on the planet has this as prediction in their calendars, says one lady and provides a long list of cultures. O lady of the infinite wisdom you did not count India or China as any culture in your long list. These two places on earth were the greatest civilisations the planet has ever seen, NOT just in amount of sheer number of people living there !! but whatever they had achieved in science and astronomy and maths and medicine. Westerners were still burning people at stakes when we were building universities. The chinese and Indian calendars never end btw. Sure we have a creation and destruction myth and that it is cyclic but it never bloody mentions a calender in conjunction with heavenly events.
This alignment is supposed to trigger a shift in the earth's magnetic field and this is coinciding with an increase in solar activity. Well if the earths magnetic field swtiches overnight.. that would be one hell of a party. A molten mass of a few hunderd million million tonnes suddenly starts to spin in the opposite direction inside the centre of the earth would really cause a stir. I am assuming that these fools know that the magnetic field is caused by the molten metal spinning inside the centre of the earth, and that the direction of the spinning is the reason for the polarity of the magnetic field.
This is bordering on foolishness, there are many many other things that really irritated me and I cannot react to them without foul language. See the problem with this nonsense is that people will actually believe this shit and stop living their lives. This causes a down everywhere, economy, production everything. Religous nuts would use this date to do something catastrophic to prove that the god they believe in has ordained this and they are just helping to prove the theory correct ( man if I had assistants like that to prove my theories I would have gotten a nobel prize by now ). Therefore one must be very careful about propaganda about this kind. Especially to a population ready to believe such nonsense and willing to take drastic steps about it.
So when the world does not end on 21 st december 2012, I am going to find Jim Weiner and kick him in the ass till my foot bleeds and then switch to the other foot and continue ( hopefully on live TV ). The bastard has even written a book on this listing all these 'evidences'. I am going to make him eat every page of his book when it does not happen.
So this is the reason why horoscopy is good only for an evening's entertainment and is really the road to moronic marraiges and crappy catastrophies.
Thank you all for sticking with this till the end... The next series in a few days would be on creationism vs evolution. But I bet you know who is going to win that fight :D

Horoscopy or the road to moronic marriages and crappy catastrophies part IV

2009-09-18T02:41:00.000-07:00

This piece of the discussion is about how people apply astrology
Astrology is applied to a few if not all important decisions in the life of human beings.
Astrology is used to :
A. predict the future ( but we can consider that prediction with astrology has yet to make sense to anyone except astrologers )
See predicting the future is no fun.. because whats the worst that could happen ? you get syphilis.. or your family suffers its own little economic crisis.. or your son is a schizophrenic or you get a psychosomatic disorder or you get castrated by a gang of delinquents ( death is not mentioned here because it is inevitable, you don't astrology to predict it ). All of this does not depend on the stars... it most probably depends on you ( I mean if you really piss off a gang of delinquents in all probability they will castrate you ) (except the schizophrenic son but still that's genetics so it still might be you).
B. Arrange a marriage or Moronic marraiges.. NOW we're talking...
Checking your 'compatibility' with someone.. now that's a real challenge. For example I have known my parents my entire life but cannot predict with 100% accuracy what they would do in any given situation.
Let us see whether a horoscope can do better :
now .. here is how it goes. I am born under a certain 'sign' or 'constellation' ( read 'random connect the dots in the sky') . So I am born under a certain 'sign' and the person I am checking compatibility with is also born under a certain 'sign'.
So now the rule is... each sign is most compatible with some other sign and probably a little less compatible with the ones that are neighbors of that sign ( the zodiac is in the same order AND circular.. so each sign always has 2 neighbors ). Now why is this ? one would ask... why is this sign compatible with only a few signs. or let us ask it the other way around would probably make it easier. why does sign really not like the other signs ?
there is only answer... "Who knows" comes to mind.
There are 'water' signs or 'fire' signs. This is based on who the planet ruling the sign is ( who ever heard of a puny planet owning a group of MASSIVE stars ? you have to be kidding me ...). Well.. just like water signs there are also traffic signs, little electrons jiggling along in wires rule them.. similar scale of magnitude I think but more effective..
In the paper I referred to in the last post, they talk about a person named Carlson. Who did an experiment. He took 2000 couples. 758 divorced and the others not divorced. He had their horscopoes made and asked a bunch of astrologers to find you which ones are the divorced ones and which ones are not. In all practicality the couples that were LEAST compatible should be significantly higher in the divorced group. Exciting premise.. unfortunately it did not happen that way so statistics does not come to the rescue of the astrologer. They still get left out in the cold wasteland of ' not statistically significant'
In the Indian system there is something a little more intruiging. They try and match the 'guna' ( pronounce Goo Naa ) it can translate to prpoerties/characteristcs or points, but I think points is correct here as it is a qunatitaive trait. So they claim that when checking for compatibility they are checking to see how many points between 2 people match. The higher the points the higher the score.. so in essence the higher the compatibility. But there is one major problem... you are calculating a score between two patterns ( albeit it is based on arbitrary symbols and heavenly bodies with no differential effect on me and the other person ).
So What is the null hypothesis ? How should we determine the cutoff ? what score is ok ? the score always goes from 1 to 36. What is the base matrix based on which you decide at least 18 should match ? It is like doing BLAST without the E value !! (If you ever try this with BLAST ..people will probably fling banana peels at you thinking you should be in the zoo.)( for non scientists.. I cannot think of a good parallel right now. sorry guys ). I mean no disrespect but I believe I am entitled to know why all this is the case. I am not satisfied with the answer of " It is so" I mean I can equally well say it is NOT so and no one is the winner. Did the astrologers take random horoscopes and match them and see what score you generally get if ANY two horoscopes are matched ? I think it would follow a normal gaussian distribution since this is random. It has to be... I confess here that I don't have much of a clue as to how these points are calculated but I am sure it is based on when I am born so my 'sign'. There must be a uniform distribution in a tropical country of people being born all around the year. so then the background score would a be gaussian distribution with the mode being the cutoff. If they have not done this.. it just leads to one question.. why the hell not ? did you just accept this at face value ? There are astrology academies in pune... Don't they ever think.. " man this 18.. its not right.. if the cutoff is 15 .. more people will be compatible.. and probably be happier in the belief that " hey.. i am compatible with more people !!"
Now here is the twist... match horoscopes without regard to gender. IF this means anything.. any man's horoscope should match any woman's horoscope better than any other man's horoscope. I mean I am not against anyone being gay but I am sure horoscopes were made for marriages probably mostly for men and women togther.
But I have never come across any person who is even willing to test this theory. Forget an astrologer.. even if is say this to orthodentists they will probably think I am out of my mind..
why is this ? I mean come on.. it is a piece of paper. not self consistent.. highly subject to interpretation by the observer.. why respect it so much ? why fear it so much ? I know someone who actually told me proudly " When my daughter brought the guy she wants to marry home, even though he had not faults I told her... " If your horoscopes are compatible I am in this marriage and otherwise I am not" " come on man !!! who tells their daughter this ? If someone had told me this I would have shown them my middle finger on both hands ( and probably the fingers of both feet too ).
I am convinced now... that there are 3 kinds of marriages. Arranged marriages, love marriages and moronic marriages. The one that does horoscope copmatibility and uses it as the most important criteria is the last kind. My cousin brothers got married on the basis where the first premise was horoscopy. Don't get me wrong, All my sister's in law are wonderful people and all of them are extremely happy, but they would still be wonderful people and be extremely happy even if they had horoscopes predicting that they were gender confused ducks...
There is so much more to write on this but I better stop before I really hurt someone... So part 4 on moronic marriages ends here.
Part 5.. the one I am looking forward to write the most is about catastrophy prediction.. in particular the one in 2012.... Let us see if astrology helps us there...

Horoscopy or the road to moronic marriages and crappy catastrophies part III

2009-09-17T19:54:00.000-07:00

Yes... The one probable saving grace of astrology or horoscopy.. statistics...
I have tried to argue that the constellations in the sky are absolutely arbitrary since they are just some dots connected by lines to for some shapes.. SO there is no earhtly ( or heavenly )reason in sight ( to me ) why someone born under some shape should be different than someone born under another. ( here under does not signify physical location, the entire earth is UNDER all the shapes ALL the time so that hardly gives a point of discrimination but instead under is when the sun or the moon is in the foreground of that constellation( or shape but hey.. take it as you want. I am not overtly artistic anyway but thats just me.. :D ) ) So now what is left ? A common sense argument using some facts of astronomy and some simple logic has lead us to the point of asking the question does astrology really make sense ? As Swati has very astutely pointed out on the part 1 post.. it is at best a correlation with events on earth in our puny little lives to some events of alignment of the sun and the moon and the other dudes ( and ladies ) up there ( dudes ( and ladies ) means planets and such.. I am NOT talking of gods here ). So we come to the only way we can assess any patterns or correlations in data. Statistics, pattern recognition algorithms, data mining even metadata analysis... all of these avenues are available to us. unfortunately I can understand only a little bit of the first one, statistics.. so let us start with that.
A huge thanks to my dear friend sameet who pointed out ( read his comment on part 2 ) that a statisical test for astrology had already been done and whats more it was published in a the jounral current science A statistical test of Astrology the current science article and by no less a person than Dr. J.V.Naralikar !!!
(I know his talks are boring but he is among the best scientists there is.. ). I am not going to describe the article here since it is open access. please follow the link above to read it. But the gist of the article is that astrology failed to hold up to the statistical tests they put it to. Therefore cannot be dubbed a science. A hobby at best perhaps. The paper shows that astrological predictions do not show a statistically significant predictive power and are more close to the flipping of a coin. What Dr.Naralikar has done is elegantly simple and lucid and convincing. ... but I too have some statistical experiments that I would like to conduct with astrological data ( obviously not as amazing as these people but nevertheless "majha kharicha vata" (marathi proverb, please ignore if marathi not first language) ) let us take one premise at a time and try to see whether it might be an objective disprovable/provable thesis. ( god I am writing the word thesis here.. I need to get out.. I need to get out of this place now !! )
To be an objective science you need :
1. A provable/disprovable hypothesis ( see.. thesis again .. save me !! )
2. A repeatable observation given a set of assumptions
3. A set of assumptions/rules based on known information that could be subject to change if in need of correction

now let us take the first tenet of astrology :
1. When you are born and Where you are born makes a difference in how you will lead your life.. ( again where is important only to calculate the position of the sun and all the other dudes ( and ladies ) up there. astrologers are not particularly fond of any place on earth.. at least that is the hope ). So do one simple test. define the smallest unit of time and the smallest unit of distance you want and then consider all the people born at those coordinates in time and space. ( In India sample size obviously is no problem in such matters.. ). They should have identical heavenly vistas in the sky when they were born. so they should IDENTICAL lives ( or identical predicted lives ). See if this is statistically significant with respect to important things like.. well education, death, health, spouse.
2. Identical twins.. ohh.. now it is interesting... Identical twins should have everything same !! even if they are born 10, 20, 30 minutes apart ( some simple astronomical calculation would tell us that the moon shifts from from nakshatra( in the Indian system there are 27 constellations other than 12 zodiac signs) to the next in about 12 minutes ( 12 zodiac signs so 2 hrs per zodiac sign and 27 constellations so 2.25 constellations per zodiac sign ( any astrology book would tell you this ), so 0.22 hours per constellation ( thats like 12 minutes )) this can be taken down to any resolution, I just used the moon because it was easy ( and the moon is the fastest moving heavenly body in the sky so for anything else it has to be more than 12 minutes.. point rests ). So depending on how apart twins are born, their horoscopes whould vary accordingly.
3. but again hang on.. we have enough knowledge of biology to understand that 'life' or the newborn baby begins at conception and NOT at birth as is popularly believed. So maybe horoscopes should be cast using conception time and birth time and then see which one is correct. ( if horoscopes with conception time turn out to be more correct.. people will laugh their pants off at astrologers who were doing the wrong thing for millennia !! :D ). So then.. in this case identical twins have a xeroxed fortune of eath other.
4. Why couldn't animals have horoscopes ?. Take 100 mice born at a time as close as you is practically possible. predict their lifespan using the horoscopes ( we like to use lab animals anyway ). Then if you are feeling particularly nasty about all this.. just kill them in the next 5 min when the horoscope says that they would live out their natural lives (and you can laugh like the demons from old south indian movies ). But to play nicely just see whether it works out or not.
These are a few things I would like to do.. any and all suggestions are welcome for more experiments in the comments section. But unfortunately astrologers think I am mocking them. I say to them please open your minds.. if astrology fares well in these tests.. then it IS a science and we will bow our heads in respect to it and accept it. I know astrology was a great discipline in the ancient days. I have even seen with my own eyes some guy reading my mom's future in an authenticated 3000 year old book and I am still at a loss as to explain how the hell did that 3000 old book have a correct picture of my mom's life. But the astrology that is done in these times is either extremely incompetent ( they might not get the math right ) or just plain idiotic ( they could not do much else in life so they became astrologers ).. People have a problem with the identical twin idea. they come up with concepts like "their karma maybe different so different patrika( read horoscope ) " well.. people karma cannot be measured.. so sorry.. i will not believe you. I think astrology can be made better if we apply statistics to it.
But here ends part 3... part 4 will consist of the applications of astrology and I think some suggestions people ( astrologically inclined or not ) should take seriously about it. Part 4 is about moronic marriages based on pieces of paper...

Horscopy or the road to moronic marriages and crappy catastrophies Part II

2009-09-16T21:44:00.000-07:00

Well.. in the last post I waxed eloquent on how the two forces of physcis gravity and electromagnetism would affect each individual on earth in precisely the same manner. I did not explicitly mention it but when I am saying the effects are uniform I meant uniform with respect to anywhere on earth. So this takes care of the latitude and longitude part ( hence the comment on distribution of heavenly bodies around the earth ). Also when I say that the effects are repeatable since the heavenly bodies follow precise orbits then I mean that uniform with respect to time of birth.So that takes care of how stars/planets affect us uniformly in both space and time.
Now we look at the next level of organisation of the heavenly bodies in astrology or horoscopy...
"Constellations"
Unfortunately there are many different schools of astrology and the only thing most of them agree with is the number planets in the sky that should affect us. The indian, chinese systems say there are 5 planets and the sun and the moon. The indian system also has two hypothetical heavenly bodies Ketu and Rahu that denote the points of intersection of the paths of the Sun and the Moon as they move on the celestial sphere.(Wikipedia navagraha) Now interestingly these are the points where eclipses will be caused since at these locations both the heavenly bodies would align as seen from earth. Indians were amazing astronomers, so were the chinese, so were the mayans and the egyptians. And they all found one thing in common. All the planets and the moon and the sun travel the heavens in exactly the same path every year. Now considering they had no knowledge of the solar plane ( almost all the planets in the solar system orbit the sun in a single plane except I think Uranus ) it was a very accurate and consistent observation. And this obviously must have helped in navigation since the directions of the passage of the sun and the moon are same. This helps tell the time of the year and therefore the weather ( in the days without pollution the weather would have been pretty consistent over the years ). So to remember the location of the sun and the moon in the sky people decided to use the only available reference. The stars in the background of the path of the sun and moon. Enter the zodiac... logical choice.. anyone of us would have done the same thing. But...
People decided to remember different shapes when they decided to trace the heavens. Well.. ancestors had a good imagination probably but for the life of me I CANNOT see any animals or serpents of hunters or maidens in the sky. for example.. (the constellation gemini to me looks like a capital 'V'). I am saying this just to point out that they ( our ancestors ) were just playing connect the dots in the sky. I will see a lion.. someone else sees a mongoose.. what does it matter ? It does not as long as we both remember 'a' shape and decide that it is the same time of year when the sun is in that shape. So basically a guide to remember the seasons became engrained in the minds of people. this is all fine and perfectly explainable but why oh why would it matter where the sun and the moon are in this particular track of the sky when anyone is born ? Why in whole wide universe would a game of 'random connect the dots in the sky' influence how my life is going to be if I am born when the sun is either superimposed over one shape or another ? . The only way stars/planets can affect us within the kknowledge that we currently have is through gravity and EM and that is independent of where we are on this earth and where they are in the sky. And basically the effect of all these heavenly bodies on earth will be more pronounced than their effect on us with a tiny mass standing on earth. Constellations are the same across cultures becuase.. face it people... the solar plane. the sun will travel the same path along with the planets because they are in the same plane and there will be NO change in its effect on earth ( except for seasons changing and tides )... and by consequence in the destinies of the people on the earth.
So does astrology really work ? Begs the question doesn't it ?

so now we turn to the only thing that would probably make believers out of disbelieving cynics like me, the saving grace of astrology .. statistics.. if only there are statistical patterns in astrology .. maybe.. maybe there is some sense in astrology.. that would be discussed in part 3.

horoscopy or the road to moronic marraiges and crappy catastrophies... Part I

2009-09-15T21:17:00.000-07:00

well.... to begin with let me quote sheldon cooper from the "Big Bang Theory" " knowing that you are a sagitarius tells us that you are part of the mass cultural delusion that arbitrarily defined constellations affect your everyday life". The person who wrote this was brilliant !!!!! Author's Note :I don't mean disrespect for astronomy nor do I want to disrespect the faith people have in astrology or horoscopy. They are at perfect liberty to believe what they want and act accordingly, after all.. who am I to tell them ?
Now that the political correctness is out of the way, let us get down to the fun part. Horoscopy or Astrology. Just what is this wonderful prediction tool that enables us to read our 'past' and our 'future' in the stars in the heavens ? Let us try to understand what influence the planets and stars can have on humans. If you are a rational and practical person you will say well.. there's gravity.. and probably light so electromagnetism. Fair enough... but then hang on... stars are HUGE !! and so are most planets compared to earth. And obviously compared to me the earth is HUGE. so does the gravity of a planet millions of miles away in space make a big difference to me if I in a different place on the earth ? Gravity is the weakest force in existence. yes it has very long range effects but then, the effects also decrease with the square of the distance !! now if a star is 5000000 km away and a star is 1000000km away from me then the effect of each one is divided by the squares of the respective distances. I mean will the effect change if I am pune or if I am in new zealand. Occam's razor and common sense and simple physics tells us... probably not. And as for light or electromagnetism, well.. the stars do shine at night so I can see them ( they probably must be shining by day too but the sun blots them out ) but the fun part is, I can only see the stars on my side of the earth and not on the opposite side, sure I'll see them in 12 hours time but still. So light from stars on the other side of the earth is not reaching me. Maybe neutrinos will, but let's face it, we are not in the middle of a solar furnace here so one neutrino hitting someone in my family in about 6 or 7 generations of seems right ( I have not calculated this, but this is an educated guess, ignore if you feel not important ). So gravity will have a uniform effect on me ( unless one proves that the distrubution of heavenly bodies around earth is skewed enough to cause a non uniform gravity field, of course this is on the background of the earth's and sun's and moon's gravity fields. But I know of no such data ( of course I am ignorant as they come ) so let us agree that gravity is more or less uniform on the earth ) uniform effect on me and everyone else on the planet, from bacteria to elephants ( their local masses are different but the effect is so negligible since gravity is the weakest force in existence ). Next is light, well light never hurt anybody really. we are alive here because of the sun's light, so more light from the stars can't be all that bad. We have an ozone layer to knock out all the UV rays. Thankfully we are not bathed in gamma rays like some other planets of some other stars. So light is a good thing, and again.. affects all the earth in the same way. Ok if you are mole or a worm underground it won't matter much but it can be argued that light has been uniform on the earth for years and will be uniform for years to come. No change in the way light affects depending on where you were born ( unless you count the hole in the ozone layer but hey that has nothing to do with the stars right ? ). SO now that we have established that all the effects possible by stars and planets on us are uniform, repeatable (since the planets and stars move in precise orbits with respect to the earth ) and basically no force in the known laws of physics can explain why they affect different people differently ( if at all they do ) we turn to next level of horscopy.. that is constellations. that is for part 2...

iPOD statistics...

2009-07-20T00:03:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, I finally decided to buy an iPOD. Actually I just decided to buy anything that plays music and is small but liked the 'iPOD' so bought one. The first thing that hit me when making the choice was the total amount of music I own ( in any format and obtained by any means ) is less than half the memory of the lowest model of the series. So being the practical koknastha bought a 1GB iPOD shuffle. YaY glorious day !! now i have a player and so to the next complicated step of the project : filling it with music. Having almost never used windows ( thats for wimps anyway ) was fiddling around the net trying to figure out what to do.. so found salvation in gtk-pod an amazing gtk widget to synchronise with the apple pods ( 'i' or no 'i' ). It turns out that while using gtk pod is fun and you get a sense of accomplishment of putting one over the microsoft guys, there are a lot of things that one misses in gtk-pod. I realised that there is something called play count for every track one puts in. I was thinking whoever has done this is barmy.. why the hell would I want to know how many times I played a track ?. Then I discovered what iTUNES is all about. Though unfortunately this is available only for windows and MAC os ( damn those guys are after my money ), I was shocked out my headphones when I saw the online music store where one can buy tracks, single tracks!!!. But the most amazing thing is : iTUNES has 3 parameters to every track. play count, skip count ( the most interesting one I think among all the three ), and track rating ( ranges from 1 - 5 stars ) for grading all the music that one puts in. I guess these are parameters for the shuffle feature to learn what you like. BUT, it opens a huge universe of data for the music industry... here is what you get :
1. because They always ask you to 'register' the iPOD ( every time you run the program in fact )
so they know who has bought the iPOD and where they live
2. If there is a music store, there's gotta be a database of some sort of pod users, so then it is not a long leap to saving the 'names' of tracks used by these people sorted according to other data ( occupation age and so on )
the fun starts here :
each track can potentially be saved by the database with the parameters of how many times you played the track in a fixed time duration, how many times you skipped a track in that time duration, what you rate the track as.
So it is pretty simple that the track you played the most, or the one that you rate the most is the one you like the most, but what is even more interesting is the that track you kept on your iPOD but skipped playing the most. See you put if there because you like it, you did not delete it but kept skipping it. For example the pod comes with a shuffle mode so you could be doing it out of mere annoyance of getting the track at the wrong time to interfere with your mood.
so the most interesting thing to study would be how many people skip a particular track but don't delete it and how do they rate the track as. it means they want to listen to it, but not just now. maybe they associate it with something specific, or it reminds them of something specific, something that you don't listen to in traffic but listen to but like to pay attention to while listening.
Couple the skipping data with rating and how many times the track is played and you start getting all sorts of fun patterns.. there is one track on my iPOD that I have rated as 5 stars, but I don't listen to it all the time. in fact I SKIP it and listen to it only when I am in that mood.
compiling data using most listened to tracks is all fine, but compiling data with skipped but listened to tracks would be more interesting.
I mean I skip tracks that I don't want to listen to now, but I still keep them on the pod. Now i don't own much music and mostly listen to what I really like, maybe people have millions of tracks that they listen to on a single pod and therefore skip just because they don't like it.
But if iPOD statistics could be done I guess a pattern would emerge of some kind of tracks being special due to skipping. I have decided to compile some statistics of the songs that I listen to a lot and skip a lot, maybe I could discern a pattern over time. If anyone wants to help in this endeavour please send me YOUR iPOD statistics. you could ask for my contact id in the comments here.
Now this is amazing and a FREE demographic tool about any damn kind of music on the planet. Why have ratings and so on ? just use your iPOD user pool to figure out what the people like. Wonder if they use it in the iTUNES store to push songs onto people.. :D

Un'faith'ful...

2009-07-06T20:59:00.000-07:00

years ago I married 'reason', the perfect wife
beautiful and lucid, my partner for life

reason showed me a life as pure as gold
sparkling and pure, divinely so
yet reason is brutal and ruthless and cold
and she never loved me so I had to go

on a journey to find myself, destroyed by knowledge
I was mere substance, a ghost, a wraith
then I saw someone I never did acknowledge
the one that always waited,the wonderful 'faith'

faith smiled at me and all of my flaws
faith never demanded or made any laws
reason had conditions, faith had only one
that I trust in something and there's no need to run

now faith is my mistress, my place of refuge,
my shield from distress and from reason's subterfuge
reason is honest , yes the perfect wife
and she had promised me the answers to life

but reason's answers are cold and sterile
and faith touched my soul, made my passion fertile
reason always dictates the way I should live
yet faith never tells me what I should believe

I love reason for life don't get me wrong
yet faith also has wonderful presence
reason departs at the end of the song
but faith remains one with my essence

So,
reason will analyse me to see if I was truthful
but faith will still love me even if I am un'faith'ful

I remember...

2009-06-10T04:19:00.000-07:00

A twinkle in your eye, your secret smile just for me
The exhilaration I feel, a moment of bliss
My heart was dancing, but I wished to dance with you
My skin on fire, the moment of our stolen first kiss

I remember all that I said, on MY shoulder you had cried
I could not understand, but it does not mean I have not tried

I gave you everything I had, but it was probably not enough
Leaving you was the hardest thing, please know I am not so tough

I see the anger and the hatred in you
but can't you see I hate it too ?

I never thought you'd lie to me
I never thought you'd make me see

how easy it is to be a slave to myself
how long would it take till I forgave myself

was that all a dream never to be real ?
was I lying, when I told you how I feel ?

These questions haunted me, ate me alive
I lost myself, drove myself away to survive

you buried your hurt under a mask of a smile
or maybe you found love in the arms of another
I though was left to rot
and the guilt is all that I care to remember
I remember...

this one is for abhi...

2009-05-23T00:45:00.000-07:00

this one is for abhi.. the friend who has stuck with me the longest. since the first few flutterings of both our wings. He went back to work in the US, this is to tell him how much our friendship means to me and how much I will miss him..

you walked by my side, an unlikely pair
since our first timid steps
when we both discovered the world unfair
but grit our teeth and laughed it off..

I chose one path, you chose another
perhaps that was the best choice brother
I watched you struggle but did not come
to your aid as i should have done

yet you got up and kept walking on
never forgetting what your goal was
I wish I could have courage like that
so my problems would burn like straws

you went far ahead, a shining light
and yet looked back at me and smiled
held out your hand for me to follow
showed me a way out of my black night

I was a fool then I still am
but this fool is learning slowly but surely
what a real friend is .. what a friend you've been
for horrible things this one has seen

we part ways now but only for now
I will follow the way you lit
we will meet I promise you that
we will laugh again just like we did.

Screaming in silence...

2009-05-19T18:28:00.001-07:00

This is what I was/am feeling due to certain events in my life. Even though this poem reflects what I am feeling at this moment, is dedicated to a friend of mine who lost her father recently in the sincere hope and wish that she will be happy once again and a prayer to him that he will watch over her wherever he is...
The poem represents me no one else but she also is in pain hence the dedication.

I wake up and the loneliness stings
filled with dread at fear's first kiss

I drown in the flood that loneliness brings
but realise that there is no one to miss

No one to share
the blood of my heart with

Nor feel sorrow or joy
as there is none to part with

My days are empty and hollow
nights just seem to follow

one image after another a copy, a shadow
of what was my life was when I truly was living

I put on a mask, a handsome one
as this pain must not be shown

the stonier the better
isn't that a mark of how much you've grown ?

apathy to fellows and indifference to friends
too long this has been, too late to make amends

evading my responsibility to the best of my talent
is all I am reduced to, hence this pathetic lament

My mind says "forget this and move ahead
what do you have to prove ?"

Some people might heed this piece of sane advice
But my heart will not let go and there is no asking twice...

the world is broken
or maybe it is me

there is no colour left
or is it just that I can't see ?

I stare in horror at a world gone wrong
I try to remember the words to MY song

that one reference, the point to begin
my sojourn here, the birth, the origin

No childhood wonder, no surprise or joy
the end of innocence, broken like an old toy

I am just numb to all the madness and violence
I stand quiet, but am screaming in silence

running around in circles..

2009-03-31T00:07:00.000-07:00

A circle.. a shape that Euclid loved the most, a shape that is sought and found by many spiritualists ( who want to rationalise the universe ) in amazingly diverse natural phenomena. The hardest shape that I ever had to draw ( and still do to my eternal disappointment ).. it has many distinct qualities in our minds.
What struck me was that it had a functional significance. A circle is something that many people embody. A circle to my naive and simple mind embodies three things :
1. repeating an action/act/pattern of behaviour however complex after a fixed duration of time
2. The centre of the circle ( read your 'self' ) is kept away from all and sundry with whatever distance you are comfortable with
3. also not being interested in things that are not within the radius of your circle and actively criticising those who are interested in them

Repetitive patterns is fine but when it is there in significant things like arguments/conversations and humor...
The first point is especially evident when arguing with people.
Have any of you ever read alice in wonderland ? or through the looking glass ? There are the most hilarious examples of circular arguments in those books. When they talk with the red queen or I think even in the conversation with the mock turtle. Well the reason this came to mind is because people tend to give circular arguments in their lives. This is especially true if one does not have a good counter point during an argument that one hears responses like : 'ya exactly !!' ( hello.. you agreeing to what i said ? isn't that against what you are saying ? ) or 'no no that is not true.. why ? no it is not... '( honestly.. what do you sat to things like this ) But both of these is fine.. this might be just buying time to think of a better point to speak. What really boils my bottom is that people have a long term circular argument system. today they are arguing with you about something... 2 weeks later you hear them arguing from your side of the same argument with someone else (occasionally with you as well ) !! This is crazy !! it is a long time ago since we all stopped expecting anyone else but ourselves ( and occasionally ourselves as well ) to be as rational as ourselves. But this is just too funny. I have no clue why this happens.. none at all.

The second one is something that that I have talked about earlier i guess so I will not repeat that. Though I admit the temptation to bash that behaviour is exceedingly hard to overcome every time I think about it.

The third one is my favourite. define one area of your existence/sentience/ whatever name you are ok with and let the world outside go to hell. I am not talking of narrow minded selfish let the earth be blasted kind of people here. I am talking about people like me and probably those who are reading this blog entry as well... everyone.
people in jobs want to do jobs to get money to live comfortably to do jobs more easily. people with families want to have good families so that their offspring can grow up and well.. have good families. people like me who write cynical posts so that they are appreciated by others so I can feel good to... write cynical posts.
Substitute the actions listed above with anything of your choice. it would still make perfect senes. I have nothing against either circles, they are all good and esteemed and really decent people trying to survive.That is ok But..
This is what is unfathomable to me : why is it that such thinking has a ring of inevitability to it ? I am sure I am not the only one who has thought of this, many must even have figured out the answer. One answer I have is convenience. It is easy to focus on something finite rather than irritating abstractions which will not directly affect our lives. Still just because it is easy I do not feel that it is right or the best way to be. Most of human effort I think is spent in 2 things. Avoiding thinking about this or pondering this and trying to figure out an answer. I am all for the latter. Because living in circles is boring... really.. however wide your circle will be the less frequently you'll be bored but you will be eventually. The question is always what next ? the day this question is permanantly answered for anyone he/she will be truly free.
The most amazing of human endavors is when the second option is selected. Trying and face your own true self, ask if you really want circles. If the answer is yes, imgaine there are no circles and how would life be like and ask again if you still want circles. If you cannot imagine life without circles what follows is not for you.
I don't mean or want that life should be purposeless, I am not even remotely qualified to answer such questions as to purpose of life. But I have something that does not rest easy with this mode of existence.. maybe that is just me.
Here I find that a lot stuff that sounds dangerous like religion/spirituality/philosophy does indeed try to address such questions. I am follower of " if you experience it for yourself then it is true" and I have experienced nothing in my rational mind/science/ education/upbringing that says that circles have to be an inevitable part of the world I live in..

If I was immortal.. I would outgrow all the circles soon and then would be faced with a really big what next... that would be interesting.. really..

NO mercy for pakistan... NO prayers for their dying innocents

2009-03-03T21:26:00.000-08:00

I will begin this by first condemning the absolutely horrifying attack by jihadis on pakistani soil on the Sri Lankan cricket team. Attacking a sports team that has come for friendly international competetion. A thing so beautiful, attacking such an ideology is despicable. I want to make it clear that I HATE what happened in pakistan yesterday, yet today I read in the papers that pakistani cricketeers like Imran Khan are asking everyone to pray for pakistan. I think the bad joke begins here. people praying FOR pakistan ?? you must be joking Mr. Khan. Pakistan is not even deserving derision from the rest of the world.
There is miltancy in pakistain. There has been militancy in Pakistan for decades. The Indian government has been telling the world and pakistan in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS to curb the military infrastructure IN PAKISTAN. But all these claims have been denied/ignored by whoever was in the pakistani government from time immemorial. There have been reports of PAKISTAN BREEDING TERRORISTS by funding and running terror camps in either the PoK ( Pakistan occupied Kashmir) or elsewhere in their OWN country. The same terrorists are now all but ruling pakistan. The government is a joke. The economy was already a joke for the last 8 years. Pakistan runs just because of US support and that is also given because pakistan happens to have a common border with the enemy of the US.. afghanistan. That is ok.. the US is doing what it thinks is right to try and curb terror in the world. My problem is with the bloody bastards who are the pakistani government. These assholes deny the very existence of terror camps in pakistan, after the black hearted 26/11 attacks on my beloved country. The pakistani donkeys who are 'in power'(so to say) there denied that the terrorists were even from their country. Some went as far as to even say that INDIA is breeding terrorists that INDIA cannot control !!! This was the most hilarious thing I had ever heard in my life. My point is simple... India is a lot bigger and stronger than pakistan. India can take over pakistan by :
1. Buying it out. All the industries all the produce everything... in one day
2. Military operation to finish whatever pakistan stands for .... in one day
3. Stop/Poison the water that flows to pakistan's province of punjab... in one day
4. Outcomepete pakistan in all their economic deals with all countries ... a couple of months and lead them to eat each other's flesh to remain alive..
When such easy alternatives do exist why would we go through all the trouble and expense of training brainless idiots to kill some people in a country like pakistan that does not even matter to the world. If pakistan ceases to exist not even pakistanis will care..
They asked everyone to pray for pakistan now that there is a terror against their own state, by the same people whom THEY BRED to spread terror in OUR state. I have no proof but I am not going to need to provide one. India has been very very lenient with these bastards.. these fatherless sons of donkeys who are the pakistani government.. But now they still blame us India for the attacks on the lankan team ? We have no animosity with Sri Lanka. we never did.. We even helped them quell the LTTE rebellion around Rajiv Gandhi's time. Why would India attack its friend state at random ? Why the hell would we send 'terrorists' to attack a shit eating dog like pakistan. We can just take out all their government buildings from our country with missiles of our own design from our own armchairs with no one else's permission... Why would we who can make pakistan lick our bottom if we wished even consider it a worthy opponent to do all this nonsense ??
This is pakistan paying for its years of breeding hate against india. pakistan wanted to separate from india when india became independent.We indians were trying to convince them to stay with us and grow and prosper with us. They killed hundreds of hindus and sent trainloads of dead bodies back from pakistan to india. We did not do any such thing. I say india became independent because pakistan never became independent. It is still a slave to stupidity, narrow mindedness and outright violence against the world and humanity. Pakistan decalred war 3 times on india and LOST !! yet their textbooks say that india lost the war and thay us made pakistan give back india ?? Who the hell do they think they are ? People tell me not to get worked up over this, people are scared of being 'politically' correct. I don't give a damn for that. This is insane and this has to stop.
Pakistan has peed its pants.. now it wants to hold someone else responsible for the mess. I hope pakistani people do read this blog entry of mine. I want them to. I want them to know that there will be NO mercy for pakistan in my heart. They did not stop their country from going to the dogs like terrorists, they did not take steps to curb terrorism. I am not sure how many of them even understand what is going on their country. I am NOT against ANY religion, but i am against all fundamentalists. Pakistan bred terrorists and trained them with resources out of its own pocket. They realised just now that the ideology they have been feeding their pack dogs was not under their control. They should have just targeted india, now their servants have targeted the entire world and the world will not forgive. I am not a saint or a praying human. But this time I pray for all the victims of all the terror attacks in the world. I pray that they get justice. I know i am supposed to have compassion for human beings and for all living things. These terrorists and the governments who breed them are not living things. I know I will not be able to bring justice to any of them personally but I sure hope to do my bit in educating the rest of the world as to the need for extermination of these kind of people. You will ask what is the difference between me and them ? For this question I have this answer alone : If the enemy is filth, clean people cannot fight them because they are afraid of getting filthy.
Mercy does not exist for pakistan and never will. For all the innocents who die in pakistan because of their own ineptness to rule their country and live like human beings, I am sorry for their loss but they are not worth my mercy or prayer. Pakistan has to pay for its mistakes. I am believer in the law of karma and this is pakistan's karma coming back to bite it in the ass. I hope it does. I hope it bites hard and then maybe they will realise that breeding hate against people who never bore ill will towards you has grave consequences. I do not want to spread hate about anyone in the world, but I guess pakistan is not worthy of hate any more than a cockroach. It should be squashed exaclt as an insect is sqaushed.. without feeling, without remorse.

a parody..

2009-02-07T19:03:00.000-08:00

well.. after reading the amazing parodies written by shilpa and alok on their respective blogs here is a chance to write my own. I was listening to the song khabar nahin khabar nahin from dostana ( a rarity in itself since I am not normally into songs from bollywood ) and the flow of the lyris and all was such that it hit me. This song can be meant for a phd student.. so here goes
The original song :

Mere Maula Maula Mere Maula, Man Matwala Kyun Hua Hua Re
Man Maula Maula Mere Maula, Mere Maula..
Kis Taraf Hai Aaasmaan, Kis Taraf Zaameen
Khabar Nahi, Khabar Nahi
Oo Oo, Jab Se Aaya Hai Sanam, Mujhko Khud Ki Bhi
Khabar Nahi, Khabar Nahi
Oo Oo, Hosh Gul Sapno Ki Mein Bandhu Pull, Aankh Kab Khuli
Khabar Nahi, Khabar Nahi

Jaane Kab Kahan Kaise, Tere Ho Gaye Kaise
Hum To Sochte Hi Reh Gaye, Aur Pyaar Ho Gaya
Mere Khawaab Dil Saaansein, Mil Ke Kho Gaye Aise
Tujko Dekh Ke Aisa To, Kai Baar Ho Gaya
Tu Kahe Dil Yeh Tera Hi Rahe, Aur Kya Kahun
Khabar Nahi, Khabar Nahi

and my version :
Mere Maula Maula Mere Maula, Man Matwala Kyun Hua Hua Re
Man Maula Maula Mere Maula, Mere Maula..
Kis taraf he pipettman, kis taraf youvee khabar nahi
jab se aya lab mein, mujh ko meri hi khabar nahi
Oo oo hosh gul paper ke mein bandhu pull
aankh kab khuli khabar nahi khabar nahi

Jaane kab kahan kaise, 'array' ho gaye aise
hum to sochte hi rehe gaye aur ek saal ho gaya
uske plots or trends hatke, data mine karte karte
statistics karke hi to mera ye haal ho gaya
boss kahe " data aisa hi rahe"
iske age mein kya karoon khabar nahi khabar nahi
Ooo kis taraf hai asmaan, kis taraf zameen khabar nahi khabar nahi..

A slice of my life...

2009-02-05T03:20:00.000-08:00

monotonous days monochrome nights
dead end ways and feeble lights
playing games online and alone
sinning by not working and scared to atone

Avoiding questions, a skill newly found
I have few results but excuses abound
reasons to admit to oneself, reasons for illness
cannot admit to myself this is stagnation not stillness

burning to work yet cannot find the seed
to unravel this mess a thread is all I need
what happened to me ? I could always see the way
I guess I lack the will now to make this world sway

Cannot even complain as I have run out of reasons
I have blamed all things, even the turning of seasons
for things that happened and things that did not
for things I should have done and thoughts I should have thought

plodding through the day without action or thought
for my life, for my goals, an intellectual drought
sitting alone at home I don't want to step out
I even stopped bothering what is happening without

what is this apathy I don't even feel sad
I have stopped evaluating, don't even know what I had
What it feels like to do an honest days work
forgotten long ago and am living like a jerk...

PhD 5.0

2009-01-16T09:56:00.000-08:00

As the name suggests... This will detail the confirmed signs and symptoms of a PhD candidate who has completed or about to complete 5years of back breaking, brain racking, self questioning work and is not sure to what end did all this happen...
The things to look for in a PhD 5.0 are :
1. He/She will never plan his/her life farther than 2 hrs into the future. Most of the concepts of time spans are now aligned either to experiment incubation times or paper/manuscript review times. The reason is the incessant dersire NOT to think too much into the future.
2. The only person hated more that Osama Bin Laden is anyone who asks them any of the following questions "when will your thesis be done ?", "Got any offers after PhD ?"
3. It is a personal insult if anyone talks about their field or about new papers in their field. ( 99% of the times because they have never heard of those papers in spite of reading about 99000 related articles on pubmed)
4. If their character/avatar in an online role playing game gets a cool sword that glows, they think it is a significant achievement in life.
5. They tell others how really they want to be done with it and move on but in reality pray that they never have to because the idea that their work is going to be judged out in the real world and their entire lives depend on it scares the pants off them.
So these five symptoms are the most sure way of identifying possible post doc candidates. Maybe we should find a way to quantify these 5 characters and select people based on these as well as research ability.

systems of belief...

2009-01-12T20:10:00.000-08:00

I have thought about this aspect for a long time now. Sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. We all have systems of belief... There is something that we think is a certain way, it can be anything from cosmic truths like monotheism to trivial things like 'pink is lucky for me' the only common pattern in any of this that we 'need' them to be true or at least possibly true. But the most important thing of this I would say is our opinion/definition of ourselves. I know this is not static and will change with changing times but there are some basic premises that we have developed that are always the same. We need these things to be the way they are so that we can feel secured and assured about our view of the world. so that we can justify what we do is correct in the bigger framework. I am NOT saying that we tailor our beliefs to justify whatever we do, what I mean is that we develop this set of beliefs over time and experience. We feel this is the way the world is and therefore we think if this set of basic premises are met everything can be dealt with. This is ok, I guess it is a natural tendency of any mind to generate a world view and function according to that. The problem is more subtle, the thing is we are extremely attached to this world view ( I speak from my experience of myself and a few others who I think are in similar situations ). We are extremely attached to this world view and we get angry, hurt or generally inconvenienced when this world view is challenged by some situations. Why should this be the case ? If the world view is challenged why is so hard to reevaluate it ? I began thinking about this when I came across a situation where my opinion of myself was questioned and I could not stand up to the test and was thus extremely hurt and depressed.
The thing is so very trivial as compared to the rest of the world, it is just how I look at myself but why should that matter so much in governing the rest of my life ? If I just remove the framework in which I judge myself the whole thing seems pointless. Since the framework is a result of the experience of all the restraints, constraints, opinions that I have gathered in my life. Is the only reason I am so attached to them is that they are mine ? or do I sincerely believe that experiences define me in a very fundamental way. That is not necessarily the case I think, I think my view of my own is cherished because it will not have any points that I consider negative and when that is shattered it is very hurtful. The question boils down to why do I consider those points as negative ? and why should I believe that they are not included in my behaviour ?
Is just past experience governing the current ability of my mind to function ? I cannot believe I was in a mental limbo for 6 months because of this small misunderstanding. Why should only I be the best in my own eyes ? Why can't I accept anyone else that is better than me ? Why is that so hurtful ? I have been told that answer is ego.. but i think it is just the ego, it is the block of your world view cluttering up the head, your belief system that one considers necessary for one to function because one thinks we functions the best if their world view is unchallenged. That is wrong, why have this nonsense in head and go around ? I have tried telling it to people and received an amazing plethora of answers. my favorite one is " it is not practical for every day life " that is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard in my life. It is not practical because you do not wish to practice it, because you do not want to reevaluate your world view, or let it go is what I would say to these people. But why is this block there at all ?
Is really letting go of this equivalent to letting go of one's responsibilities ? I would like to believe that is no so, that is part of my belief system but I do not know the answer. But I would like to believe that this is possible, not because of any other reason but that would make living beautiful according to me...
ending the post with a paradox. I do not believe in being so attached to systems of belief because I believe that it is foolish. If I could only say this with experience of not belonging to a system of belief... I would be the happiest fool on earth...

Who knows...

2008-11-17T02:14:00.000-08:00

Who knows when, will this journey end
and what waits for me around the bend
Darkness that will swallow me
or sadness that will follow me...

Who knows when 'I' will cease to be
and will 'I' know what's really 'me'
just a bunch of memories fleeting
that vanish forever never meeting ?

Some say,
there is no death but life eternal
nothing exists but light supernal
Or, I might get into heaven or hell
but show me really who can tell ?

Why do I think of the journey's end
when I have still see the way to go ?
Life is neither foe nor friend
that I should want to leave it so..

I am not too weary of life
but still know am not in place
I am not in any pain or strife
yet I yearn for that blessed grace

Who knows when, will I burn the last
To be lost and forgotten in the jaws of time
or will 'I' come back ages past
to redfine what's me and mine.. ?

Who knows...

by the seat of one's pants...

2008-11-13T23:51:00.000-08:00

I was reading a book on complexity theory and am really and truly fascinated and totally into it, when my mind started wandering and then got to thinking about "am I destined to be a better theoretical scientist ( whatever the hell that means) than a practical one ?" As it is I like to study things from a theoretical point of view, building new hypotheses and testing them ( preferably in my head and as soon as possible because I am too lazy to remember them and test them later and another reason for that is .. 'The Moment' is gone so it is no longer fun ), using concepts from one discipline somewhere else in a way that no sane person would even think of doing it. Essentially dreaming in the field of science and to answer any question, the first thing that jumps to me is make a theoretical model of it and see if it works. Whether it works in practice or not is not my problem. To add to that, am not really that interested in the practical things I have done in my PhD, but am very much interested in the concepts that are addressed by doing those things and reasons for doing those things. I am not interested in 'honing' my skills for doing a western or a southern. If it gets too much I would just get someone who can do it better to do it for me. I do NOT believe that expertise in a variety of techniques is a way to achieve greatness in science, but rather the ability to tell which experiments to do is more important. Being this way and in a lab where computation or any kind of theoretical construction is avoided with a furrow in the brow and pained look ( this may have some association with the ability to comprehend too much of imagniation, but that theory is yet untested.. :D ), I think I have stumbled upon a new method of research. I call it 'by the seat of one's pants' research.
We know what the meaning of the phrase is " doing something by the seat of one's pants" it is usually meant as 'not being very serious about something and taking risks willingly and gladly, goofing around not caring about the results.Often with total disregard to rules.' Obviously doing things this way will be frowned upon since it is often of no productive value. So it is... but in science they way I envisage, 'by the seat of one's pants' seems like a great idea... There is a higher chance of this happening in theoretical research simply because less money is involved. The way to do this type of science is simple :
1. Read lot of stuff till you find something that triggers your imagination ( for purposes of a coherent discussion let us say that imagination is restricted to ideas and not fantasies, though fantasies sometimes do help... )
2. If you like an idea, just incubate it.. keep it in your head and don't think about it.. suddenly sometime somewhere this idea will click with another and viola !! something interesting is already happening ( Until the viola happens.. you are still treading the road and not flying by the seat of your pants... And PLEASE DO NOT do anything to trigger or hasten the 'viola !!' stage. Otherwise the whole point is lost. Here is where the pants come in.. )
3. Now, we you get your viola!! done.. test it out in the computer or in your head, or in component space or wherever the hell you think it is the most fun and easiest to do. Don't worry about publishing it or convincing others of it or other such trivial things... and if it works.. IT is past the first stage...
4. Now the most important thing... now test it against known knowledge about whatever you are doing. If your idea has already been proved by someone else then ah!.. too bad but at least you are bright enough to think about it on your own. If it is going against whatever is being said by 'bigger' people then hmm.. one wonders, because obviously I am not wrong there must be something I haven't explained or thought about. So rethink your idea, do patch up jobs and these are not necessarily to solve the question that has arisen in the first place. More often that not the patch up jobs are more fun than the idea it self.. Who cares about convincing others or getting this published or written.. If it works in your head, if it is cohesive with each other not like sticky goo but like an array of light then waaah... that feeling is the most wonderful thing in the world. This is not a fantasy creation, be sure to test your idea against all that you can with the harshest of measures, but when you think it works, and literature says it does not... don't believe the literature, patch up your idea. Often to the extent that the original thing is unrecognisable but then it will become something really beautiful !!
Point no.4 is the 'seat' of my point. But there are severe warnings before doing this..
1. If you are worried about career or are otherwise bothered by thoughts of the future please do not go down this path
2. If you think you know everything and that a particular problem is solved please do not go down this path
3. If you want to work to get more funding please do no go down this path
4. If you are afraid this will lead you to 'loose your focus' and other trivial things, please do not go down this path
If the above 4 things do not apply to you please welcome to this amazing field of science. Experience the warm rush of thrill down one's spine when two seemingly unconnected ideas just melt into one like one wonders why were they ever separate. See the beauty of it all. Sadly people will not understand/like you, they will think you are mad, but are still favoured. they will say you are lazy and not work but still would wonder how you get things done to an equal extent as them. If you start wondering how to explain what is there in your head and start looking for alternative ways of communication.. the signs are clear.. you will soon take off and fly.. by the seat of your pants...

being professional... yaah... boo !! being practical... yeah right.. :D

2008-11-05T22:34:00.000-08:00

I am surrounded by professional and practical people a lot.. I do not call them that, it is by their own definition of their actions that this comment is made. so I tend to wonder a lot why of why on earth are these people like this and where have the real people gone off to ?.. I do not hate them, criticise their way of life or hold any sort of grudge against them. But I see where they are going and I see how much it is going to hurt some of them. Especially the converts to this fold.. and my heart bleeds. I am not saying that not being these two things should nessecarily be equated to being ireresponsible. I am assuming that the person in question has the basic nature to accept all his or her responsibilites and work on them.
So this is my argument over some of these peoples professed ways to practice...
For a long time I thought that being professional would depend on what profession one is professing.... You know a baker might 'flare up' from time to time, or a doctor might be 'sick of it all'. But sadly that is not so. There is a category of behaviour that I have heard being classified as 'being professional'. Listed below are some of the characters expected from me to be professional and in quotes are my honest to existence questions to them..
Irritating (to me ) things like :
1. Having a proper 'sense' of dress ( am not talking of cleanliness here only 'sense' of dress please make no mistake).. " Now if I would be working my best and what I say and do does not depend on what and whether I wear anything, why the hell should the dress matter ? "
2. Having a proper 'sense' of where to show emotion and where not to show emotion... " This works only for a politician and NOT for anyone else, so if you mean to do it otherwise you are doing what politicians do... dupe yourself and people"
3. 'Being professional' towards only certain people... " this is my favourite hit.. if you want to be professional then please do so towards all the people in your profession and not only the people you want to avoid in your life "
4. Having a 'sense' of behaviour.. ( again am not against the basic tenets of decency and humanity ) " What the hell do you mean by this ? how can anyone else have a sense of behaviour that you have ?" Examples of when to be our self and when not to come to mind, especially dependent on whether the boss or people you don't like are there.
5. Talking only about professional things when you know you can have so much fun by talking about other creative things as well ... " Welll.. if you are so scared of me intruding into your boundary that you limit yourself access to whatever interesting ideas I have to offer about whatever.. then there is only one word for you... COWARD he he he. Creating shields around you so that sooo many people don't get through.. how the hell can one live like that ? I would die of asphyxiation"
so if you are being professional like mentioned above.. I would gladly make a fool out of myself and say yeah.. boo !!!

And now the most trusted defense of professional and practical people... being practical itself !!!
I always wondered.. isn't being practical dependent on what you are going to or already practicing ?
This includes the following things...
1. Giving importance to people based on their use to you... ( this is most of the times done involuntarily by people ) .. " this is such a waste of time.. because then you have spend your energy into evaluating how much use someone is or will be and this turns out to be a continuous process. why not assume everyone is important and go ahead to do your work ? Examples of giving importance to an idiotic boss because they are the boss or to other people like yourself because they are predictable and will not cause you harm, come to mind.."
2. Changing your outlook depending on how much acceptance of the aforesaid useful people will it achieve... " again.. why ?? just be open enough to get acceptance anywhere.. why waste time in doing this nonsense ? Anyway if you are among people who are equally practical and professional it should not matter right ? I think all this boils down to covering one's vulnerability or tweaking gain out of every situation. both of which are logically correct but rationally silly things to do in life."
3. The last and the best... telling non-practical people to be practical.. or trying to take advantage of their 'impracticality' " Please leave people be. you think you are helping them become happier and achieve things. Please understand very clearly you are NOT !! you are stifling them, you are stripping them of their emotions and their capacity to think straight, By telling them to focus on things like their 'career' or their 'work' at the cost of everything else.. you are dehumanising them. You have destroyed your own life.. now don't take theirs to make you feel better that more people are in the same boat, so you have that many less people to analyse real time for your first two tenets."
It is a fact that when confronted about point number 3 practical people get angry but being practical do not show this emotion and do something else instead. but the recent converts get very defensive and try to tell you that their choice is right for such profound things as 'life', 'living', 'happiness', 'satisfaction'. Yes it is true if all these things depended upon not being connected to anyone else in the world more than it is needed and therefore not being affected by the pain, happiness of others. I have never seen a more idiotic way of looking at life. I know the answer to their quandary but I am not going to write it here because who am I anyway ?
I used to imagine ostriches with their heads in the ground, but even they come up to breathe, these people will end up breathing their own stale breath and then they will maybe think if they have some semblance of sense that " yes that impractical, unprofessional fool is right, he might be poorer or less renowned, or less successful but man he is laughing like he has gone crazy... and i am not.. because i am not supposed to..""
Being practical... yeah right... :D

What problem to choose ?

2008-10-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

Well.. I am in IISc banglore here. And there was a talk by Nobel Prize Winner Richard Ernst. The lecture was NOT about science, it was about what science should be about. The title of the talk was " Scientists, the caretakers of the future". This casts scientists in an amazing heroic light.. He was of the opinion that scientists should not just remain in the ivory towers. (The actual words he used was underground shafts but ivory towers is less demeaning.. :D.) He was of the opinion that science should not just be limited to advancement of science but also of society, and not just in the area of technology development or health etc. He was talking about social outlook, and social outlook in the sense of accepting responsibility for society, social welfare and thinking beyond self goals and self interests !!! He talked a lot about how the consumerist economy of the developed countries dictates the world market, companies stimulate desires for things that we don't really need, he gave examples of such products. It was an extremely interesting point of view to take about the world. It reminded me very strongly about Indian Philosophy.. :D Karma Yoga, Realisation that ones own ego and its existence is the least important. This was the first time I have a heard a western scientist talk of such things, he said that we as scientists have a responsibility to educate the young in the way of open ended thinking, thinking of science not just for science's sake but also its impact on the everyday life that we could bring about. I am of the opinion that he was NOT talking about developing more comfortable ways of spending life, but he was talking about looking at science as a tool to enhance life of everybody. He actually showed a model of social behaviour that was centred around achieving self goals, and he was talking about model where we work and I quote "We work not expecting anything in return, we work out of a sense of responsibility towards the society'. He himself confessed that he was deeply and profoundly moved with tibetian buddhist philospohy, maybe that was root of all this talk.
This led me thinking, he even touched upon this facet... What problems should a scientist choose to address ? Should we think of career when defining our area of research ? Is 'cutting edge' so necessary all of us should strive for it ? I know that we all want to work in the best of your fields, but the best of our fields should not be defined by academic inaccessibility or location of research or economic returns of the research. That is point which made the most impression on me, economic value of a piece of science to society does NOT mean that that piece of science is helping society. it might just cater a cascade of new consumerism and does not teach responsibility to the people of their actions.Look at the US, they enjoyed a very long period of economic stability and affluence for about 40 years. ( 40s - 80s this is my belief not necessarily a verified fact) and look at what nonsense they have come up with in their lives. So many things to make life 'easier and more comfortable' but what shit have they done to the environment ? more than compared to the rest of the world in the 20 years following that. A scientist should choose a problem for the following reasons :
1. It is enjoyable to solve that problem
2. That problem should not build an ivory tower around itself
3. The point is for the future of humanity, anything that can ensure survival of humanity for the next 100 years or so is a good thing.If your problem is helping this go ahead, otherwise please stop and reconsider.
Teaching is one thing, really educating is another. This is maybe to ideal and unfortunately survival and economics take the upper hand always.But that does not mean it is not doable and if it is the only way to survive it has to be done. Scientists talk a lot about noble beliefs and so on, but the all important funding comes majorly from government or private groups that obviously have expectation of some returns from their investment. But this man was talking of educating the 'society' in accepting responsibility for consequences of their actions. He believes that we as scientist could do some difference because we are privy to infrastructure and information processing many are not ( i am not talking of computing and network or journal access here) but a company of minds that can think, project, and hence make a better impact on shaping the younger generations. I mean scientists can get together and help policy makers change their minds, and people will listen because we are scientists, we are supposed 'to know' right ?
Think about what problem to choose carefully. Scientists I believe are gifted individuals who have the capacity to solve problems. The point is to use this ability not for any 'gain' but for enhancement and ensuring the survival of humanity. Enhancement does NOT mean living in affluence, it just means having a society that is made up of individuals who are responsible, open minded.
A person does not have to be intelligent to imbibe all this, just open enough to look beyond their own boundary. As scientist we often do that. giving all out for a problem without caring for food or drink ( Mr. Einstein comes to mind here ) is an an example of that. Doing phd from princeton because it will get me a good post doc is idiotic, it is practical but does not achieve anything to anyone except that person. Doing phd in solving a problem makes more sense because solving it might lead to enjoyment of science and enhancement of life. Science is career oriented, it should be problem oriented. Big lab scientists are revered as gods, they are... but only based on their achievement in science. not because they head dept. of something in harvard. Professionalism is correct, but only when conducting meetings for funding agencies, never for research, never for applying to labs, never for making personal impressions on people hoping to get selected or recommended by them. This seems ideal but that does not make it wrong. please think about this...

to burn for something...

2008-10-08T05:24:00.000-07:00

lately I have been feeling a little left out of life
It seems programmed you know, grow up, get a job and a wife...
but this living is not living...
what is living if I don't yearn for something ?
I am alive only If I burn for something...
consumed in passion for that one quest
I want to be washed away in that tempest
yet my anchors don't loosen so I can't give it all
I can run to the edge but am still afraid to fall
what I burn for has to be the purest of the pure
anything lower I cannot endure
The hardest journey, the darkest places
the most feared, the most cruel faces
burning my hopes, my dreams, my desires,
burning in this biggest and hottest of all fires,
being burnt beyond the last of my excuses
After that truth triumphs, everything else refuses
to exist and then there is freedom complete
engorged on infinite peace I will be replete...
After I am gone, when this image is lost
you know they might say "
yes he was a fool who yearned for something
impossibly hard to get, still he burned for something.."

The bubble that won't break....

2008-10-07T04:41:00.000-07:00

Irridiscent colors a raging storm
all hated, all loved, all mine
had a feel of the void, so this burrowing worm
tries to crawl out, out of time
seeing it all, knowing its fake
I still am trapped..
in a bubble that won't break

Am told faith and guru is strength untold
that I should believe and I will behold
the glorious truth that is out there
everytime, everyplace, everywhere and nowhere
But how will I, who won't believe in me ?
ever believe a guru and ever be free ?
Screaming in silence, in this world so fake
I still am trapped...
in the bubble that won't break

The wrongs of me, the chains of my faults
suffering from self righteousness, unforgiving
begging for mercy, kept locked in vaults
not moving on to continue living
What do I do now, how long will it take ?
to be free of..
this bubble that won't break

If its just a bubble then why should I care ?
Just drop it all, stand naked and win ?
Why is it that I cannot dare
to drop all masks, stand happily and grin ?
contemplating death, a stupid way out
another wall within, the void still without
Is this really the way to be ?
and what really is at stake ?
that I still choose to be
in this bubble that won't break ?

my work.. ( or a heroic representation of it.. )

2008-10-05T02:21:00.000-07:00

i create codes.. not understood by all..

i seek language and patterns in a 4 letter universe

the information is there i can almost sense it..

the answer is there.. mocking me with time...

the 4 letters conceal the truth
lying to each other, in effect to me
some behave while others mis..
my wits against their order...

i struggle to calculate
the sense from the non-sense
the battle is won....
when the plot is deciphered..

Stranger in a Strange land...

2008-10-05T02:07:00.000-07:00

Looking at the world

through clouded glasses

Seeing boundaires & worries,

small worlds, one for each

Worlds collide, yet none change,

Why ? I do not understand

it seems i am..
A Stranger in a Strange land

Charted territory, a patchwork of maps

No rhyme no reason but rife with gaps

people too happy or too scared to step out

of their patch and reach with their hand...

Being 'practical' is glorifying

but are just instincts of survival !!

being 'emotinal' seems horrifying

so reason begins to unravel

I see al this & I see its end

they don't heed me,
have blinkers on my friend

I say,
Step out and see, just take my hand

but .. who will follow
A Stranger in a Strange land ?

People tell me ' why look outside ?'

'just stay in your patch and prosper'

I say' building towers within walls, to see farther away,

is a rule of cowardice I will always betray'

I don't understand the world nor do I expect it to understand me

Yet I accept the world, so why does It not accept me ?

I speak of this and carry ' fool' as my brand

Inspite of being right..
I guess I really am
A Stranger in a Strange land...

Alone...

2008-03-11T05:26:00.000-07:00

A pilgrim of nowhere
I don't belong to anything
In the crowd, but not of it
What am I ? a pauper or a king ?

Do I live in a castle,
with its walls so high ?
Or am I destitute,
living on a prayer and a sigh ?

I could be both,
yes I can be either
being a king seems to be sad
and I can't be a pauper either

Guarding my emotions
with bars of memories
or hoarding the joys
from all the good stories

Giving it all up
when I see it as futile
only to begin again
is this really worthwhile ?

There seems to be a wall
built to surround me
I scream out for help
but no one stays around me

Is this is the cry
of a lonely soul ?
Or is it the shriek
of a thing so foul ?

I don't see the world
as I am supposed to see it
I don't know how to be
If I did I would be it..

thus I begin to question
the very nature if this state
is this my delusion
or is this my fate ?

I see people as they are ( or I think that I do )
not as they want to be seen
Is this the reason I am blind
to all things in between ?

Is this why I am
stuck between these two faces ?
neither makes sense
but offers empty places....

What to blog about ? and other deep questions...

2007-09-11T04:20:00.001-07:00

i come back to my blog after a loooooong time.. i guess 3 months later. I had tried my hand at blogging i marathi using the transliteration button on blogger but it is a pain to get the algorithm to get the words right. so back to the stupidly incomplete english language with only 5 vowels...
The question is this.... what to blog about ?
I just did not know what to write and it would be extremely silly just to write everyday non-sense into a blog as if someone would actually be interested in it.
now after a hiatus the creative/arguementative/judicial/rationalising engines are running again so i guess now there is going to be some noise on this webspace.
what to blog about is a very difficult choice for me. I am not a net freak who likes to be online and read about anything and do just about anything. i mean i cannot blog what is on my breakfast plate everyday (that is a popular past time apparently) and some issues are just to personal, some issues are talked about so much that one person's opinion hardly matters.... Some things i just don't care to think of ( gossips columns and page 3 comes to mind )
Some issues are composed of just cynicism and would not make a good impression on the readers. Despite the name i still try to keep the posts intersting/intelligent/creative/insightful... (all this being subjective and subject to the reader only ), the bottom line being not the rubbish i see online. It turns out that there is not much to blog about if all these criteria are imposed. Makes one wonder about the inconsequentiality of all/most of the thoughts one has. Not a very good place to be, so the ego kicks in the creative juices and concepts/stories/theories are born. They are tested against the harsh demands of the blog and if passed are printed. the paucity of blogs maybe a reflection of creative ability but again if one has to stick to principles... :D
But i guess if allowed some of the things in the world around are worth talking about. Whether i protest them, whether i adore them, some of them do make a difference to my life and i will try to think about that a little more. It is very easy to become a machine fixed to a static routine and just ignore all that. What is hard is to accept all that and still try to get all that work done. One would ask ' why go the hard way then ?' anyway you would get your work done in time and do something worthwhile. I do not have an answer to that and have been trying to get one for the past 16 odd years. There is only one possible flaw which comes to my mind and that is.. suppose one has to break the routine to make a big adjustment in life, it won't be possible to incorporate this change by not giving it 100% attention . If anything else is attempted it would be foolish. I will explain this sometime later but i would like to see if someone else feels the same about their life. so comments expected on later posts..

net(lab)work blues..

2007-05-16T00:05:00.000-07:00

finally !! configured my laptop to run the net in the university !! the net is crappy anyway... gmail banned and stuff like that.. but now at least i can surf in style and security as the laptop runs Linux. The university network is verily a breeding ground for worms and viruses and we as the department of zoology take pride in generating the worst of the lot. Of course none of them can touch a Linux OS, which is what i keep telling the 'learned' people here but well.. who listens to a person who does not fit in ? :)
there is usually a long queue for the use of the single PC that we have and share among 13 students. but now all that is behind me.. i am damned because i did not think about this earlier.. I guess everyone stagnates once in a while.. and in our department especially in the labs here.. people help each other stagnate in more and more creative ways everyday !! one wonders where does all this creativity go when it comes to experiments but that is a thing for many more and detailed blog entries. The only worry is.. that now the laptop should be able to access the net from home!!! i use ADSL there so no worries about configuring it.. now the trouble is switching from a configured state to another..but i guess that just setting it in FireFox should solve the issue.
There the first ever personal blog entry about mundane things in my life. I never thought i would get around to touch my blog again hence this is just to get me reacquainted with the blog. And to cover the fact that i am in the lab but not in the mood to do anything much. :D

another poem...

2007-03-23T19:43:00.000-07:00

The title for this poem was inspired by a conversation with 'd' see comment below.. 'd' figured out what the poem was all about and gave this comment hence the title..
this was born out of frustration at making the same mistakes again and again...
The Silent Struggle

A maelstrom of colour
a riot of thought
no semblance of peace
but a judgement wrought

I seek within me
I seek the seeker
but I speak within me
and can't quell the speaker

My mind denies
what my desires crave
my quest wanders...
is this foolish or brave ?

My mind judges
believing it's right
to judge every moment
as dark or light

I walk the path
but am afraid to step
I question the reason
I chose it instead

I fear my inability
to see the light
I see others achieve
How long can I fight ?

The nessecity to depict evil..

2007-02-24T20:35:00.000-08:00

I know this one is going to sound too philosopical but could not help coming to this conclusion. I have seen a lot of english movies involving paranormal events.. like Constatine etc. The lastest in this 'series' is the movie Ghost Rider. The movie is fantastic with amazing special effects and stuff. The plot is absolutely shit. A total dharmendra movie. The common point in all such movies and indeed many action movies is to show the presence of evil. And in the end evil is the one side which has to loose. Take Ghost Rider.. the rider in this case is shown to be a horrific creature ( a flaming skull is hardly attractive ) but still fights on the side of 'good' does all the things a hero does.. you know, save the innocents and stuff like that. Since these movies come from the west I guess they are based mostly on the christian philosophy. Evil is always personified as an external agent. It is powerful and can only be overcome by:Love, Self-Sacrifice,Faith and other such qualities. To me this is an extremely elaborate way of refusing to accept the fact that whatever one calls 'evil' is extremely subjective and that oneself is responsible for it. Come to think of it greed, lust, survival etc. are all natrual tendencies, but are termed as evil. I am not saying they should not be, all i am saying is 'good' is transcending these qualities which occur natrually due to instinct. Then the question is why is it so hard to accept that we are responsible for our actions and that good and evil cannot be defined objectively ? Good and evil are just opposites of each other whatever they may contain and they are not external agents. Just saying keeping faith will destroy evil is utter stupidity.. since there is no evil out there trying to get you. If there is no evil out there, keeping the faith in the opposite of evil which is also out there is meaningless !! Faith is a wonderful thing don't get me wrong, but faith should be kept for better reasons than defeating evil !!
If one can accept that good and evil are not two absolutes but are both inside the human head.. then one can be a much more rational person who can appreciate life. This does not need a lot intellect, it just needs common sense and honesty enough to test this hypothesis.
So i say it is nessecary to depict evil and to show that it loses because of this inability of the western people. In the hindu yogic tradition there is no such thing as evil. In the indian religon(s) evil is not personified. Of course we have demons and ghosts an ghouls, but they are not the equivalent of satan. They are other beings just like humans and gods. None of them rules existence. The whole point of this regligion is to get one to transcend one's mind and not to play around with games like who has more souls.. god or the devil.

A transition state

2007-02-18T19:46:00.000-08:00

We had the cultural event for the 'Darwin's Court', a students activity hosted by all the life science departments at the university yesterday. There were people from all the respective departments to cheer on their colleagues and if possible to hoot at the others.. What i realised was this... 3 years ago I was exactly like them.. especially the younger ones who joined an institute called the IBB after passing their juior college ( junior high to those who don't know the Indian education system ). There was no worry in the world, there was not fear of starting a career and definitely no weight of responsibility on my shoulder. Not that anything like that is there now but starting a PhD was like starting an elaborate and excruciating mutation on oneself. This is a very tricky place to be in. If u look at it one way a PhD student is what is says there 'a student', but if you look at the actual work load and things we are supposed to do, it is no different from any job in a semi-corporate situation. So we are neither students nor are we full fledged professionals. My personal experience is being a student is the best possible place to be anytime.. but the way things are, I would have to give it up and start doing mundane things with an english accent which would earn me money but would be absolutely redundant and boring after a few years. I wonder how people do their jobs for years together. Don't get me wrong.. a PhD is not boring, it is rather fun.. what is irritating is the difference in the point of view it forces upon me. Earlier I was never bothered about what my immediate future would be, what would my next lecture or exam be like. That was when everything was planned and I just had to go through that system. A PhD is different. I have to think about where my next experiment is going and taking me with it. There are no supports. Our advisors and seniors says it is not that big a deal. I believe otherwise. A student is taken from the lap of a planned activity schedule and thrown into total randomness...
So a phd is rather like a transition state. Where one stops being a carefree student and is expected to 'grow up' but one is neither given the rights of a grown up and is still expected to be like a student. A transition state with a paradox !!!

The Snake and the Rat...

2007-02-16T02:43:00.001-08:00

I work in the department of zoology for my phd... But to be honest I have had not much to do with animals in the course of my short academic career. I do not need to touch, handle or even look at live animal specimens for my work except the ONE rabbit I use in my experiments.This rabbit also is bred in captivity so is hardly worth the trouble of getting excited about in the first place. One tends to forget where one is if this goes on for a while. Yesterday, while I was feeding the aforementioned rabbit and was getting water for it from the adjeacent animal house, I heard a distinct sound of something sliding or slipping across the floor. I turned around and was not surprised to see a 7 foot long rat snake trying desperately get away from me on a hard linoleum floor with no grip. There have been reports of a snake in our animal housing facility ( goes to show the times we live in... :D). The snake was a beautiful specimen and really powerful and agile. One of my labmates knows how to handle snakes so i called him and we both tried to catch it. It evaded us beautifully and vacated the premises immediately. But this was the first time in my life when a real live snake has slithered within a foot of me, so naturally i made the most of it. Snakes are so beautiful.. there is elegance and grace in their motion itself. I cannot imagine moving without limbs, but to move so beautifully... one would have thought it to be impossible.
The amazing part of this thing is... in the morning i was talking about how we should go somewhere to see snakes and i was told " you need luck for that " and in the same afternoon i see a beautiful snake !! right at my doorstep.. i don't need to go anywhere to see them. they seem to come to me !! Now if this is not luck, I don't know what this is..
The corollary to the snake :
Our lab is housed exactly on the top of the animal housing facility. Mostly mice in there. harmless little creatures who at the most might bite your finger. There entered a huge black rat into the washing area of our lab on the same afternoon. Maybe because it was afraid of the snake below, who can tell. After 3 of us tried to either catch it or kill it, it jumped out of the window. I have never seen anything jump like that. This rat jumped 3 times its length to reach the open window. I am not saying that is great.. there are animals who can do more than that. This is great because it was on the same day and reminds me harshly of the fact that i work in the 'Zoology' department of this university. So far i had only seen dead and preserved animals in this department ( except for the rabbit and the mice ie.) but two intruders, one so beautiful and one so persistant, tells a lot about shutting ourselves in an ivory tower of phd doesn't it ?

A paragraph on graphology...

2007-01-03T08:27:00.000-08:00

I got my hand-writing analysed. A friend of mine in the lab does it. He told me to write something and then he proceeded to tell me what the hand-written script reflects about my psyche. To be honest.. in the beginning I was a little skeptical, I do not believe that all this is gospel truth but to be fair it has given me some insight into what my sub-conscious is really like. I know one would ask that why of all the things to do in the lab we choose graphology, but well, once curiosity takes hold of me I find it hard to stem it. The thing is whatever he said about my hand-writing and it's connection or dependence on my thoughts or way of thinking or behaving is shockingly accurate in some cases. In some cases it is nothing to do with what I am like or at least what I think I am like. But things like one's innermost pathways of the mind. The way I work out things without knowing that I do it this particular way, or whatever I give importance to and whatever I don't did reflect in that script. I do not know how good or bad my friend is at this or how good anyone can be at this. I just realised that the way anyone writes has to be dependent on something more than just the way the person is thinking when he/she is writing it. I don't know the success rate for this '-logy' but the degree of accuracy was unexpected. I think it rests on psychological excercises, the way the responses are measured to stimuli but I don't have the time or inclination to go into more detail of this. Graphology - I would say a possible tool to evaluate an individual's psychological makeup, but I would not say how good a tool it can be. If one has to analyse an illeterate person any such creative action should be capable of being analysed, like singing or walking or painting or anything. Afterall, they all will stem from what that person is...

another haikuish poem...

2006-12-27T04:30:00.000-08:00

Another haikuish poem. please be as generous about your comments to this as the first one. Both these poems are a reflection of what i am thinking right now. But interpretation as before is left to the reader....
I had asked for comments what the interpretations were.. i recieve only one like that.. the rest were all .. let us say appreciatve ??? ;)

Dissolution....

Borders on sense
Fences by reason
Trapped inside
the mind regins

I yearn to see
the light behind the light
these shackles i wound
unknowingly

Let me be free
the form destroyed
my mind shattered
I dissolve....

An attempt at a Haiku...

2006-12-21T06:21:00.000-08:00

I am not sure of a what a Haiku should be... 3 lines or 4. All i know is that there should be 24 symbols i think..
This the first haiku i have written... it may not be very clear but i think that is what makes a good haiku.. one can interpret it as one wants but only one matches the authors. If you can understand this haiku please leave comments.. not for me to judge the correctness but for me to know how to write more clearly.
I wrote this haiku after doing a Bhava Spanda program offered by Isha yoga at coimbatore.. for those who want to know what that is.. please goto their site
I will give only one clue, it is at a big turning point in my life... :

The first step...

The long road streatches ahead
the ends lost in darkness
another intersects, exactly so
I stand, pondering my ignorance

Both lead to bliss
one long, the other long
one easy now, one easy later
I pause, questioning my will

Love relinquished for universality
Reason surrendered for bliss
Love pursued for emotional needs
Reason used for new feats

I am the guide
I am the wanderer
I no longer look back
I stop, smile and walk on...